Monday was my 6 month marker. I can't believe all the progress I've made in 6 months, both on the scale and off. It's been quite the journey thus far.
I've had my ups and downs, far more ups than downs though-so that makes me happy. Everyday, I wake up and I'm grateful for the lapband. My knee hurts a little less, I have more energy, I've stopped snoring from the excess weight (so I get a better nights sleep and so does my fiancee!), I am no longer angry and depressed, and I am certain that things will keep getting better. My mindset has changed as much as my pant size has!
The biggest change is the way I view the gym. I know that's sort of a weird thing to change, but in my situation it was the most important change I could make- in order to be successful. I used to look at the gym as the lowest task on my priority list. A way to torture myself. Now, though I still torture myself, I welcome and embrace it and know it's good for me. I feel as though it is making me a stronger and more determined person (not to mention changing the way I look and feel). I've started my couch to 5k program, chosen a 5k to run in July, started lifting, and I'm doing ab exercises too! These are things I never would have done before my lapband, I would have been too negative, too sure I would fail. Somehow, I know that I can do it this time. I know that I have the tool I need to lose the weight, but I also recognize that it takes effort on my part.
I knew that this journey would be in my control, but I will admit that a small part of me thought it would be easy. I mean, who wouldn't? Weight loss surgery - come on - the weight should fall off me, it says so in the name of the surgery! Not so much. I have to actively participate and make choices that are hard. I have to fight the instincts that have developed over the years and re-wire my brain. However, it gets easier with every choice I make. And one day, it will be an unconscious decision. The work and the choices are on me- I have finally accepted that. With the acceptance of responsibility comes power over my past.
So in 6 months, I've dropped almost 70 pounds and countless inches, changed my thoughts on the gym, made better food choices, and more importantly feel better about myself than ever before. I think that's some major progress :) I'm excited for the next 6 months and the continued changes!
I've read your blog finally! I am so proud of you and the progress you've made. I'm not talking about the weight loss either. You've grown and I feel you're finally seeing yourself with the eyes I see you. Beautiful. Confident. Amazing. Those three words fall short of how I really see you, but for now they will suffice. I love you so much, Alana. I am truly blessed to count you as one of my friends.
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