One Month Marker

Wow.  Saturday marked my 1 month since surgery.  And so much has changed...

I started this journey with no clue what I was embarking on.  I knew I would have a learning curve and things would be different, I even knew many of the things that would have to change.  I just didn't realize the work involved- or maybe I did and I ignored it-I haven't decided yet which it is (I lean towards the latter).  In case you're wondering what some of my education and routine entails: relearning how to chew and swallow beverages, crushing pills, taking supplements, suffering through low blood pressure and it's effects, and struggling to meet my daily caloric intake so my body doesn't go into starvation mode and hold on to my excess weight.  There was so much more than the pain of surgery that I just wasn't prepared for.  I knew about the responsibility that was about to fall on my shoulder, but I don't think I was fully cognizant of what was headed my way.

On a positive note, I've learned a lot about myself this past month.  I've learned that being vulnerable is ok and that support from my partner and my friends goes a very long way in keeping me on the right track.  I've learned that I can push my limits and survive and that carbohydrates are certainly a weakness of mine-one that I'm going to struggle with forever.  I've learned nothing stands in my way, but myself and my old habits.  And I've learned that happiness doesn't stem from how I look on the outside, it's who I am on the inside that matters most.  It took me 29 years to put up obstacles for myself mentally and physically and one month to start to take them down.  That to me is the best thing that's happened to me, though the 45 pounds I've dropped isn't too shabby either.

After starting this journey, I thought the hardest part would be the surgery.  It wasn't.  But everything is so worth it.  Every step I take away from the obstacles I had put up, takes me closer to my goal life.  I can't say goal weight, because it's not about the number on the scale, it's so much more than that.  It's the healthy lifestyle I want to lead, it's the physical challenges I want to be able to take on, it's the way I feel emotionally and physically, and it's about how I choose to live my life going forward.

This has been a wonderful month and I'm ready for those that follow to come.  :)