Struggling

So my pouch (as I fondly refer to my new tummy) has been yelling at me for the last week.  I've been falling back into bad habits-eating quickly, eating (slightly) more food, I even creeped a few peanut m&m's from my love and a mini ice cream sandwich (90 calories-but still not a good idea).  It's been pretty bad -- this past week especially.

I have been post-surgery two months and I've not had any issues with my pouch to stop these bad behaviors.  Some people throw up if they eat too fast--nope not me.  I'm just fine.  So, I'm struggling big time.  I still can't eat a lot of food, but I'm free to eat anything I want.  It makes me wish I had done the gastric bypass surgery -  I would have at least had some restrictions.  No sugar, no high fat or you'll get sick.  I don't have those limitations so it's all on me.  I feel a little overwhelmed by the responsibility of being "good" all the time.  But-I want this, so bad.  More than anything I've ever wanted, I just don't understand why I'm derailing my efforts.

I just wish I had more will power.  And things were a big easier...but I suppose if eating was easy for me I wouldn't have needed the surgery in the first place.  I know what I need to do and what I need to not do, it's just been so hard lately.  I wonder if I'm getting complacent now that I'm lighter and looking better than I have in years.  I certainly hope that sharing my failures with you, helps get me back on track...

I suppose I should share some positives with you too-since there are plenty.  I'm down 4 pant sizes.  I've lost a lot of inches, though I won't measure the inches lost until next month's 3 month marker.  I've started yogging (1 minute intervals) more consistently.  And I feel healthier.  Things are looking good otherwise :)