My shoes were so bad, I was getting shin splints and had to wait for my new ones to come in the mail -so, I fell off the wagon for a whole week. I was like a hoover and felt like my band had no restrictions to it at all. I know I need a band-fill, but this was a little over the top. My appointment in March can't come fast enough!
I ate whatever I wanted, didn't go to the gym, and had a grand old time. I only felt a little guilty that I put my body through a surgery and could so easily fall of the wagon. Which is not good...HOWEVER, that said - as of yesterday I am back on with a vengeance. I needed a reality check and when I stepped on the scale and hadn't lost a pound in more than a week (though thankfully I hadn't gained a pound either), I knew I wasn't doing myself or my band any justice.
After having been off the gym wagon for 5 days, it's really hard to shift my mentality back to working out. Getting out of bed is harder and my motivation has dwindled. I know after a few more days it will be the same as before, but damn is it hard to get going again. BUT, I went to the gym yesterday and walked for 40 minutes and then did the dreaded weight lifting and was up and at 'em early this morning too.
I should probably embrace my struggle, since the harder I fight it the worse off I seem to be. That or I am just meant to fight this battle every step of the way....at least I will appreciate it more when I get to the end of this journey. :)
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Plugging Away
Well, I'm plugging away on this weight loss journey. I've hit a new weight loss low (I'm so excited), with the help of a couch to 5k plan (that I've modified to allow for A LOT more leeway at the beginning due to the knee injury). I'm excited and feeling pretty good on the treadmill. I'm up to 7 intervals of 1 minute of running/jogging with 2 minutes rest in between. Sadly, I couldn't run this morning as planned, because shin splints are starting to develop. Normal I think, given my size and my lack of activity for so long (and worn out sneakers). BUT-I think I'm handling it in stride.
By in stride I mean, my inner motivation has peaks and valleys. It's hard to keep up the "you can do it" mentality all the time, though I try. Most days I'm successful-but like everyone else I have my off days. This morning when my sneakers/legs/feet were failing me I was feeling a bit disheartened. However, I bought new sneakers online after I left the gym and I can't wait to get them! I will battle the defeatist attitude that sets in sometimes...and I will win. First step is keeping the endorphins flowing :)
Anyways, since I could not "yog" today, I lifted some weights. First time in like a year-so it should be interesting when I try and lift my arms and legs to get out of bed tomorrow morning :). Well it may not wait until the morning, as my arms are feeling a bit fatigued now. Oh boy! It will be worth it, when the flab starts to dissipate and the muscles begin to pop out :)
One of my favorite quotes is "you save yourself or you remain unsaved" and I think it's really appropriate at this time in my life. I'm saving myself from...myself. My attitude, my eating, my laziness. No one can do it for me, I have to do it for myself. And I know I will do it, though hard times are par for the course. Each time I step on the scale (which if you're wondering I've cut back to 2 times a week), I get a reward and some reinforcement to keep up my hard work. I won't lie, I'm pretty proud of myself.
By in stride I mean, my inner motivation has peaks and valleys. It's hard to keep up the "you can do it" mentality all the time, though I try. Most days I'm successful-but like everyone else I have my off days. This morning when my sneakers/legs/feet were failing me I was feeling a bit disheartened. However, I bought new sneakers online after I left the gym and I can't wait to get them! I will battle the defeatist attitude that sets in sometimes...and I will win. First step is keeping the endorphins flowing :)
Anyways, since I could not "yog" today, I lifted some weights. First time in like a year-so it should be interesting when I try and lift my arms and legs to get out of bed tomorrow morning :). Well it may not wait until the morning, as my arms are feeling a bit fatigued now. Oh boy! It will be worth it, when the flab starts to dissipate and the muscles begin to pop out :)
One of my favorite quotes is "you save yourself or you remain unsaved" and I think it's really appropriate at this time in my life. I'm saving myself from...myself. My attitude, my eating, my laziness. No one can do it for me, I have to do it for myself. And I know I will do it, though hard times are par for the course. Each time I step on the scale (which if you're wondering I've cut back to 2 times a week), I get a reward and some reinforcement to keep up my hard work. I won't lie, I'm pretty proud of myself.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Struggling
So my pouch (as I fondly refer to my new tummy) has been yelling at me for the last week. I've been falling back into bad habits-eating quickly, eating (slightly) more food, I even creeped a few peanut m&m's from my love and a mini ice cream sandwich (90 calories-but still not a good idea). It's been pretty bad -- this past week especially.
I have been post-surgery two months and I've not had any issues with my pouch to stop these bad behaviors. Some people throw up if they eat too fast--nope not me. I'm just fine. So, I'm struggling big time. I still can't eat a lot of food, but I'm free to eat anything I want. It makes me wish I had done the gastric bypass surgery - I would have at least had some restrictions. No sugar, no high fat or you'll get sick. I don't have those limitations so it's all on me. I feel a little overwhelmed by the responsibility of being "good" all the time. But-I want this, so bad. More than anything I've ever wanted, I just don't understand why I'm derailing my efforts.
I just wish I had more will power. And things were a big easier...but I suppose if eating was easy for me I wouldn't have needed the surgery in the first place. I know what I need to do and what I need to not do, it's just been so hard lately. I wonder if I'm getting complacent now that I'm lighter and looking better than I have in years. I certainly hope that sharing my failures with you, helps get me back on track...
I suppose I should share some positives with you too-since there are plenty. I'm down 4 pant sizes. I've lost a lot of inches, though I won't measure the inches lost until next month's 3 month marker. I've started yogging (1 minute intervals) more consistently. And I feel healthier. Things are looking good otherwise :)
I have been post-surgery two months and I've not had any issues with my pouch to stop these bad behaviors. Some people throw up if they eat too fast--nope not me. I'm just fine. So, I'm struggling big time. I still can't eat a lot of food, but I'm free to eat anything I want. It makes me wish I had done the gastric bypass surgery - I would have at least had some restrictions. No sugar, no high fat or you'll get sick. I don't have those limitations so it's all on me. I feel a little overwhelmed by the responsibility of being "good" all the time. But-I want this, so bad. More than anything I've ever wanted, I just don't understand why I'm derailing my efforts.
I just wish I had more will power. And things were a big easier...but I suppose if eating was easy for me I wouldn't have needed the surgery in the first place. I know what I need to do and what I need to not do, it's just been so hard lately. I wonder if I'm getting complacent now that I'm lighter and looking better than I have in years. I certainly hope that sharing my failures with you, helps get me back on track...
I suppose I should share some positives with you too-since there are plenty. I'm down 4 pant sizes. I've lost a lot of inches, though I won't measure the inches lost until next month's 3 month marker. I've started yogging (1 minute intervals) more consistently. And I feel healthier. Things are looking good otherwise :)
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